THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT

So, with 20,000 (erm?) in attendance, 6 goals, 4 penalties (all debatable), 4 bookings, 3 strikes of the woodwork, 1 red card and a birthday boy in Bartram’s even Messrs Weller, Foxton et Buckler would be hard pressed to give more value for money than was dished out at the Valley on Saturday. With new boys coming in for their first home league match and a general anticipation of a hard fought afternoon and keeping it respectable the sun shone down on the Valley and the natives … Reading hadn’t conceded in the league yet so the scouse / croydon midget must have been pleased with them shipping 4 ...

Weaver (7/10) Needs to get a consistent defence in front of him but starting to make saves
Basey (6) Not likely to retain the slot after Youga’s suspension if you ask me
Hudson (7) Not his best performance since joining a London team but better than many of the defensive performances we’ve seen over the last few years
Fortune (6) Looks like he’s going to be sitting on the bench for a while now … wish you joined Stoke?
Moutaouakil (7) Another promising performance as he stood solid at the back as well as getting forward for some attacking support
Bouazza (8) 2DAP MOM
Bailey (8) Settling in well and showed in patches that he’s capable of bossing games at this level … not much of the summer sun left now so just see how he goes then!
Holland (7) Must admit I’ve thought he’s been past it for a few years now but frequently proves me wrong – ran solidly for the team and deserved the goal
Sam (7) Showed sometimes the simple move can be the best one
Varney (7) Again ran around a lot but seemed to link with others a bit better
Gray (7) Best performance in a red shirt to date … starting to look more like Andy Hunt than JFH
Ambrose (sub for Sam) Came on late but good to see him back in the squad
Semedo (sub for Moutaouakil) Another late substitution who looked solid as usual

2DAP MOM : Bouazza – Booked for remonstrating after the retaken penalty but made up for it with a great goal to seal the points. In between ran tirelessly and showed why he’s worth £2M (well everybody else seems to want to say it every time his names mentioned ;-)
Moment of the match : Nicky Weaver’s 2 penalty saves (well neither went in did they) … oh how my son (who loves Nicky Weaver) was overjoyed to hear (and subsequently see) that
Statler and Wardorf : Oh so very quiet! In fact the quietest I’ve ever know them to be. I was expecting to be writing pages on this subject but alas .. sorry I mean hoorah no, not a dickie bird. Perhaps a lovers tiff? Perhaps readers of this blog? Who knows?

Have we seen enough red cards and penalties for the season yet … bloody hell no … Here’s my roundup of the rest of div 2 action from the weekend …

BIRMINGHAM 2 – BARNSLEY 0
Brum 3 matches, 3 Kevin Phillips Goals, 3 wins, top of the table … repeat for the season?
Barnsley 3 matches, 3 defeats, bottom of the table ... ???

BLACKPOOL 1 – SHEFF U 3
Blackpool continue to struggle whilst Sheff U seem to be getting it right. Even at 38 Gary Speed shows he can still pull the strings, and wades in with a goal too, whilst Greg Halford keeps up appearances for ex Addicks everywhere.

COVENTRY 0 – BRISTOL C 3
So one croydon twat of a manager leaves and another joins … thankfully their undefeated run ends … and taffy coleman gets sent off … who cares about the goals – not me lol

croydon 0 – BURNLEY 0
So Burnley pick up their first point of the campaign and a big well done to them say all of us! The Sunday morning ITV show used the word mediocrity but with two nigels sent off and the manager adopting his usual persecuted whinge this joins Charlton and Forest’s wins up there a highlights of the day for me … how was it for you tango man? Not scored yet? Everyone else has – even Barnsley

DERBY 0 – SOUTHAMPTON 1
Southampton’s young side ‘hammer’ Derby 1-0 – what can I say except ha ha ha

IPSWICH 0 – WOLVES 2
Super Kev v ‘super’ Chris … and neither score, remembering their Addicks form Wolves move up to second - I’m so pleased for you mick … really I am

FOREST 3 – WATFORD 2
A result that shows what this league is all about … and why anyone can beat anyone. No offence (at all) to Forest but they’re not fancied and for some reason Wimbledon … sorry I mean Watford are. Another game, like that at the Valley, with plenty of goals and excitement. Love the second division and respect to the trees – good to see one of the old skool ‘big clubs’ back from the lower leagues IMO. Great long range goal to open the match for Forest and twice more they had to take the lead when Watford equalised but they’re moving on up.

QPR 2 – DONCASTER 0
Money can’t buy me love so the Beatles sang … dowie seems to be able to buy the points now (shame about the crap you wasted millions on us for you twat!) but good looks … not even your new employers can help you there

SHEFF W 1 – PRESTON 1
Preston drop first point of season and slip to fourth whilst Wednesday opt for a more ‘usual’ scoreline – after 4-1 for and 1-4 against.

Prediction round up : erm ... just 4 out of 10 this week I’m afraid but we won and the nigels had two ‘men’ sent off and haven’t scored yet so who cares

Next week we travel to fourth placed Preston, with will be another tough test – keep ‘em coming that’s what the thirty ninth best league in the world is all about … UP THE ADDICKS

SOME WEEKEND READING

Just a quick pre-match ramble here as the bank holiday weekend beckons starting with poets day ...
So tomorrow we take on the fancied royals of Reading and ‘welcome’ their (ex croydon scouse – what a terrible combination!) manager steve Coppell to the Valley in the Sky TV early kick off.
No Todorov, Ambrose, Racon, McCleod (all injured), Youga (suspended), ZZ (still recovering from his visit to some event full of people running around in their pants and vests?), Jerome Thomas (now joining the herminator on a full time basis), Sinclair, Wagstaff, Aswad Thomas ++ (loans) and Basey doubtful means pardew will be scrapping around for a team. Well maybe not the first 11 but the bench isn’t going to be bulging with superstars is it?
Anyway, regardless of this I’d predict a defeat anyway (pessimistic bastard I am early on but then Watford and Reading are good sides in this league) – I’m plumming for 0-2 unfortunately but hope I’m wrong

Elsewhere I’m predicting home wins for Brum, Cov and QPR – away wins for Sheff U, Burnley, Wolves, Watford and Preston (yes 5 aways!) with a draw at Derby – with 9 out of 10 right last week I might even put a couple of quid on a perm

COME ON YOU REDS!!!

STATLER AND WALDORF

These two ‘gentlemen’ sit near me and my friend at the Valley and, if you weren’t trying to watch your beloved Addicks in action every week they’d probably be very amusing. Each week they talk the same old tripe, including a suspiciously high volume of tottingham hotspurs discussion (!?!) before starting to discuss what time train to get home ... in the 50th minute ... aren’t the train routes and times the same every week? Bloody hell!

Anyway, I have to put up with them, so you will share in moments of their madness / genius ... you decide!

Quote of the match against swansea ... ‘It’s (the midfield) never been the same since Kishishev left’ Fair enough you may say (although I know many would disagree with differing aspects of this statement) but ... these two guys never, ever, never, ever said a single good word about the Bulgarian workhorse in all the time he stomped around the valley. Even when he’d run 60 yards to make a goal saving challenge they’d say he was out of position or the like ... aaaaargh, another season of this drivel ... good job they sell alcohol at half time ... Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you Statler and Waldorf

Former Addicks 4 – Current Addicks 0

Whilst we were struggling to keep a full team on the pitch, let alone score any goals, some of our ‘old boys’ were not having quite the same trouble ...

WATFORD 1 – CHARLTON 0

With new ginger signing Nicky Bailey coming in for Jonjo, Pardew pretty much resorted to the team that played our last friendly against Swansea a week earlier. Going back to what they used to do, did they ever stop?, a typically route one Watford goal where the keeper can claim the assist let Tommy Smith slip through a sleeping defence and past the rotund Weaver. Didn’t look / sound like a great game from what I heard / read etc so both teams will have to pull their socks up sharpish if they want to get back to the big money. Shame to see R Kelly sent off and, whilst I’m not one of the majority of supporters who believes every decision should be in their favour I did feel he was harshly dismissed. Nice to see Nicky Weaver making a quality save too ... sadly I predicted a single goal defeat but then my prophecys were correct in 9 of the 10 matches with only the draw at Norwich beating me. We now sit a sad 20th with no goals or points yet. Next up Reading ... bugger!!

BARNSLEY 1 – COVENTRY 2

So 2 wins, 4 points and top of the table show that life can only get better after dowie. Barnsley’s Howard scored with a beautifully timed run but it was Coventry’s Eastwood who stole the show with a goal and an assist – and 1 of the 8 cards (7 yellow + 1 red) shared out during the match. Next up for the early leaders are Bristol City so I can see them extending this run.

BRISTOL CITY 1 – DERBY 1

The late kick off for sky saw some nice open play down the right lead to a good goal for City – only for Manager’s son Lee Johnson to give the ball away for the equiliser – oh dear son!

BURNLEY 0 – IPSWICH 3

2 games, 2 goals, that’s our Kev – the model of consistency – if only! So Burnley are rooted to the bottom with nil points and -6 goal diff whilst arguments must have been abound in Suffolk as to whether Kev’s scoring fetes after heading in (again) after a rebound or the skydiver landing on the roof of the stand was the most bizarre act of the afternoon – welcome to the wacky world of Ipswich Town!

NORWICH 1 – BLACKPOOL 1

‘highight’ of this match has to be the miss by Lupoli which would even have made geoff thomas whinge ... oh dear

PRESTON 2 – croydon 0

Preston move to second with a fine win ... what can I say ... nothing that would make this any better that’s for sure ... well done North End

READING 2 – PLYMOUTH 0

Next weeks visitors to the Valley pick up a good win with Sonko scoring two headers and former Addick (and fanit chav) Leroy Lita trying his hand with a spectacular overhead volley

SHEFF U 3 – QPR 0

I’ll avoid the sharp / blade puns and say the hat trick was a header, a composed strike from the edge and a scrappy finish to seal it ... all together now, ‘let’s all laugh at dowie’

SOUTHAMPTON 1 – BIRMINGHAM 2
An entertaining and lively match saw my pre season picks to win the league continue in fine form, but the Saints looked half decent too. A few disallowed offside goals, a rare actual goal for former Addicks defender Chris Perry and some great play from ex goner Quincey and Jerome showed that you can play attractive football and win at this level. I’ve got to say from what I’ve seen of Quincey in the past and this season Birmingham could have a potential star on their hands here . Oh yeah and the usual (well two weeks anyway) Kevin Phillips coming off the bench to score the winner ... are you Solskjaer in disguise?

WOLVES 4 – SHEFF W 1
Having won 4-1 last week Wednesday were on the receiving end this week, despite taking an early lead. Big jock and former Addick Chris Iwelumo notched a couple with a cleanly won header (what?) and running through with pace (what?) to tap in a rebound off the post ... Lisbie, Perry and Iwelumo all score, sorry gotta go and lie down!

Say hi to Herman while you’re there

So, one player not featuring against Watford tomorrow will be Jerome Thomas and, whilst I’m sure there’s some logic behind it I feel it’s a shame really. I’ve always liked ‘JT’ as a player – even when being too flash / lazy you knew he could change a game – if only he wanted to, so perhaps div 1 is the place for him. With Bouazza coming in all starts to make sense although I doubt he’s on less than Thomas the prospect of cash from Pompey (who became the first team to win the FA Cup with a walkover in the final last year ;-) would be hard to resist. I actually though Thomas had started to show some good form pre / early season so I’ll miss him, even if not all Addicks will. Well I say good luck Jerome – show them what you can do ... and say hi to the Hermanator.

And of down the yellow brick road to Watford the team wander tomorrow. Sorry to be a pessimist but I’m predicting a 2-1 defeat with Varney grabbing our goal. Hopefully I’ll carry on my 0/1 result predictions so far for the season and the lads can prove me wrong ... come on u reds!!!

Elsewhere in Div 2 Bristol City take on Derby in the televised clash and I’ll predict a bore draw there. I’m also going for home wins for Norwich, Preston, Reading and Wolves, aways for Coventry, Ipswich and Brum and a draw at Sheff U v QPR. Elsewhere Doncaster and Forest have a free weekend but I here rumours they’re both planning exhibition matches ... don’t do it guys, take advantage of the rest. With 71% of results correctly predicted in the week I’m confident I can continue the run ... maybe?

PS – don’t forget the championship programme on Sunday shows bits of the second division :-)