VIVA LA VIDA

With no football on this weekend I’m sure many of you, like I, will be wondering how to kill (nigels?) time before our beloved Charlton (or whichever second division team you support) grace the footballing arenas of England again. No ... oh well sod you then if you’ve already got a life. I have decided to take in a bit of culture and visit an art gallery. Being a complete novice in this area I consulted our trusty internet and googled a few bits and pieces ... after my wrist recovered I found the painting shown here which is a 20th century work by Mexican artist Frida Kahlo. Its title directly translates into English as ‘alive [is] the life’ - meaning ‘long live life’. See, we’re all feeling uplifted already aren’t we ... no? Then I shall continue. Actually, this is a myth – the painting in question is actually entitled ‘Liberty Leading the People’ by French artist Eugène Delacroix and depicting the July Revolution of 1830. (See where I’m going now?). Viva la vida is actually by Kahlo but is a painting of melons ... no not them ... yawn! Anyway I discovered neither piece resides in the UK so I’d have to make do with some other art. Meanwhile I discovered that save the world single handidly / actress marrying / miserable sod / head up my own arse Bono ... sorry, I meant the lovely Chris Martin of Coldplay – has written a toon with said title. His lovely jaunty ‘all the melons I have seen’ is due to be released sometime soon but Viva La Vida you will probably have heard of. In case not here’s some of the lyrics to help jog your memory?

I used to rule the world (sorry Chris – thats Take That / manu)
Zhi would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone (well at least you’re getting some sleep ... ask pardew or Ambrose)
Sweep the streets I used to own (bit like Paddy Powell but without the mower then?)

I used to roll the dice (Two 6’s – you’re starting today Luke)
Feel the fear in my enemies eyes (but who are our enemies and who are our friends – and who do we keep closer)
Listen as the crowd would sing: (well North upper anyway)
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!" (I’ll leave you to think about this one for now)

I’m sure our manager doesn’t really roll dice to pick the team and there’s loads more great lines there about Romans and Revolutions (wonder where that could go? - seriously I couldn’t make this class stuff up) but enough for this culture robin today. Enjoy your weekend off everyone and remember it’s only art!

Alright I confess (I wasn’t expecting the Spanish inquisition – but then nobody does) I’m going to the zoo with the kids –

JOIN THE (Gorillas of the) REVOLUTION!

SOMEHWHERE ELSE?

After comments being raised about pardew’s ability to talk excessively about his former surrey side – more so than us -last week, here we have him talking about another of his former loves ...
Ahead of Saturdays match ‘I know the Ipswich squad well; I've come up against them twice in the play-offs as manager at West Ham’ and afterwards ‘When you've been West Ham United manager for four years you get used to the pressure but this week has been tough’
Somewhere else you’d rather be al?

TAXI !!!!

JOIN THE REVOLUTION !

YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION

Well I agree – we all wanna change the world - and I urge you all to JOIN THE REVOLUTION!

So we won – panic over? No, this is just a respite! Every woman, every man, it’s time to stand up, join the caravan – oops ... join the revolution! Yes that’s right – ignore Saturday’s blip and stand up and be counted – like Pedro 45 did. We were all fannying around with Con Te Partiro and the like but he put his money where his mouth is and said what he meant (just like a fiery Italian might) and I know he feels better for it. So, whilst you’re reading this just say the words to yourself ‘I want to join the revolution’ feel better? Course you do. Unfortunately the oppressors broke in and f*d about with my sky+ box at the weekend so I didn’t get to see the telly programme (I forget its name) with the second division goals and highlights on so my reporting this week might be a bit off the mark in some people’s eyes but I don’t care – I have a greater cause and the sacrifice is worth it.

(Readers warning ... subliminal messages may be used in the following ‘performance’ those with the IQ of a palarce fan can’t use a computer anyway so no harm can come of it – only good)

CHARLTON 2 – IPSWICH 1
Whatever the result was I can’t get excited about this win. There was a very strange mood around the Valley before (and during) this match – the people are revolting (sorry that was last Tuesday). The game well, it was born in the Quarticciolo district of Rome on July 9th 1968 and we’re now up to 17th.

BARNSLEY 4 – DONCASTER 1
Rare win for the Tykes whose career started at local boyhood club Lazio.

BIRMINGHAM 1 – QPR 0
Kevin Phillips scores again before pushing over referee Paul Alcock ... or that’s what the oppressive regime want you to think – we here at revolution headquarters know the truth is that he dived.

COVENTRY 4 – SOUTHAMPTON 1
Good home win for Ghost Town City all of whose players have a tattoo reading DVX on their arm.

NORWICH 1 – DERBY 2
So the turn around in form continues for the American giants known to be former members of the Lazio Irruducibili.

FOREST 0 – croydon 2
I wouldn’t sully his good name by linking him with this shit!

PLYMOUTH 4 – SHEFF W 0
Shows you how poor the team that beat us last week was, despite winning the 2001 FIFA fair play award for the special act of sportsmanship shown when playing against Everton.

READING 3 – BURNLEY 1
West Irish score another 3 including BBC goal of the season 2000

SHEFF U 3 – BRISTOL C 0
Are the messages getting really obvious yet?

WATFORD 2 – PRESTON 1
I love you Paulo x

So there’s the weekly round up, along with an updated table still headed by Wolves rather than a team who finished in it’s highest league for nearly 50 years in the one season Di Canio played for us... Charlton don’t have a competitive match for over two weeks now so I’ll leave you with this thought that brought a smile to my comrades at the match on Saturday and might do the same for you. In response to the usual complaints about the watered down fosters on offer I offer you this reply ... Join the revolution and it could soon be ice cold Peroni we’re drinking ... SALUT!!! You know it makes sense!

THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN!

With the defeat to surrey nonces fresh in the memory (current) manager (tick tock) pardew will know he needs to get back on track again with a convincing win in front of a large home crowd tomorrow. The tractor boys won't be any kind of a pushover though and SE7's own ole gunner solscar (or whatever) won't be letting any past loyalties get in his way. Shake ups are threatened but ZZ and Todorov (2 players I'd like to see in most staring line ups) probably aren't ready for 90 minutes yet - where's Jonjo? Anyway I'm going for a 3-3 draw and pardew to keep holding on ... for now.

PAULO DI COACHIO - Join the revolution!

CON TE PARTIRO

Thanks to Daggs for the title suggestion – Although I’ve put a little twist on it - I’ll not make too many blind man jokes / puns as I’m really not in the mood (particularly as there’s a nigel where I work) – Perhaps there’s an Italian out there who might appreciate the language change – one who’s recently got some coaching badges? A facist, not a nazi? Big mutton chops?

Anyway as Wolves lose their first of the season so the team at the foot pick up their first win – I really don’t know what to say – too early to drink, should have told me that two hours ago :-(