THANK HEAVEN FOR THE PROFESSIONALS

Oh dear, dear, dear ... the Addicks lost and the nigels got their first goal(s) of the season ... what a weekend it’s been! Still at least the Gordon jocko brown and the bloody credit crunch hasn’t affected the price of mind numbing, pain relieving drugs ... yet ... and we have 24 hour licensing laws to aid the ever addickted amongst us. Here’s the round up boys and girls ...

PRESTON 2 – CHARLTON 1
Sorry, it’s all my fault – my predicting a Charlton away win may be rarer than a croydon fan with dress sense (playing with a leprechaun on a wii fit) but I went and bloody put the jinx on us didn’t I. Sorry boys it won’t happen again (often). With Varney showing the drive I predicted in my pre-match ramble his chasing of a ball he had no right to think about getting to he managed to get upended for the 217th penalty in matches involving Charlton this season. Andy Gray stepped up for the second week running and again we lead. Can we all go home now please? Erm, apparently not. Preston, who are turning out to be an ever improving side over recent years decided to spoil the party with two second half goals – or rather our defence did. Will the real Linvoy Primus please stand up, please stand up, please stand up ... OK any centre halves out their reading this who fancy a game?

BARNSLEY 2 – DERBY 0
So the team bottom of the league (at 3PM on Saturday anyway) decide to go and beat ‘big boys’ Derby ... what a fucking liberty! Well hurrah for them I say, leaving global market infrastructure leaders Derby in the same place as they spent the last year or so ... bottom of the league!

BRISTOL CITY 1 – QPR 1
I think I might have to start taking cider drinking, sorry the cider drinkers seriously soon (I take cider drinking very seriously already) as they notch up another point against mr ugly’s ugly troupe leaving them sitting proudly almost top of the real second division table. QPR took the lead with Blackstock managing to score despite being on his arse but Adebola equalised before midweek goal hero Ledema got himself sent off for the mighty hoops. I myself am drinking as many cans of strongbow as possible whilst writing this in the hope the apple magic may rub off on the Addicks.

BURNLEY 0 – PLYMOUTH 0
Yawn ... highlight was Chris eagle setting sent off for having such an offensive bloody name. If Cantona got nine months (should have been a knighthood) then this fella should be banned for at least life.

DONCASTER 1 – COVENTRY 0
Surprising everyone with early top half of the table results ‘Donny’ march on with a 30 yard effort from Mr Weller – oops Wellens.

NORWICH 1 – BIRMINGHAM 1
No Phillips goal = no win = third place, at least temporarily as the super canaries start to show the form that has me, and me alone, tipping them for a promotion challenge this year.

READING 4 – croydon 2
Well for one weekend at least I can forget that the scouse dwarf is a serial nigel as they crush the surrey girls unceremoniously. With their leading goalscoring defender Sonke deciding he really is too good for this league step up Sir Kevin Doyle and take the applause. Despite the nigels getting their first (and second) goals of the campaign Reading were never going to lose this one. One from Harper and Doyle’s three secured the points but it could have been so much more – especially if Kebe hadn’t had his goal disallowed for blatantly being fouled in the box – no penalty, no goal, foul against! Oh dear referee! Doyle could have had a couple more himself but his two tap ins and appropriately headed hat trick goal led the chief nigel to call his team a ‘disgrace’ – I for once agree with him!

SOUTHAMPTON 0 – BLACKPOOL 1
Another surprise win, which appears to have been much more convincing than the 1-0 scoreline suggest, moves the seasiders above the Addicks (and a few others beside) with woodwork hit and 3 (correctly) disallowed they showed some real attacking passion

WATFORD 2 – IPSWICH 1
A header from Eustace and O’Toole taking advantage of a parry of the keeper ruled superior to Counago’s goal when the Watford custodian politely gave the ball away and almost asked Watford to score.

WOLVERHAMPTON 5 – FOREST 1
Wolves now stack up an impressive 13 goals in 4 league appearances and this looks like 10-1 might have been a fare result ... McCarthy’s still the manager? Sorry I mean 4 offsides and a dubious penalty robbed the unlucky forest boys ... seriously though Wolves go top and look good. Kightly might have got two but it was former Addick and one of my all time favourite players (not!) Big Chris who claimed a goal and an assist – what a team player – why did we ever let him go?

Oh well that rounds up the action before we take a week off for some overpaid and ovepampered tossers to flounce about for ingerland and the like – still ITV are showing the charity match with at least one true star, Paulo DiCanio, next weekend so a week of won’t be too hard to take. Prediction wise I’d like to forget my 3 form 10 as quickly as the rest of the weekend ... thank heaven for the professionals - or should we thank Cowley?